I’m okay with ME!
Me at 22
For the past few years I have struggled with my body image. I feel fat, I feel hot, I feel fugly, I feel awesome, etc. I have come to this realization – I may not be the size I want to be and I may not be the weight I was ten years ago, but I’m content with what I am.
I’m not 21-years old anymore and going out dancing three times a week. I no longer have a full-time job where I am on my feet and walking constantly. Instead, I am 32-years old, doing laundry and cleaning instead of dancing, and my full-time job now is being a mama to my kids. My paychecks now consists of the love, hugs, and kisses that I get from these little people.
Me now!
Back to my big butt. I am soft, squishy, and not nearly as toned as I once was. And I’m alright with that. When my kids cuddle up on me I am soft and comforting – I am their Mama and they will always remember that. When they look back on their childhood and think of when they were sick, tired, or just needed some tenderness, they will remember how comfortable they were when Mama held them.
I am okay with ME! I’m okay with being a size 9 (10 on a bad day) and no longer a size 6. If my weight is the price I had to pay for the life I have now, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am a Mama; big butt and all!
LA, Furry Family, Farms, and Dancing
Long time, no write! I have been super busy the past few months with all sorts of little projects and such. Between writing for my three columns, dance classes, web designs, and real life, it has been pretty hectic!
I was supposed to go to LA recently with hubby for a movie premiere for my friend David’s film, Beyond the Pole. But, I got hit with the flu and hubby went solo. Judging by the pics, he had a blast! I’m so jealous!! He got to hang out with some of the actors from the HBO series, Generation Kill and the little boy (all grown up now) from Jerry Maguire. He met lots of great new friends and it just kills me that I was too sick to go!! They ended up at the 70′s bar that was in the movie Swingers – how cool is that?
Our last picture - taken about 5 minutes before she was put to sleep.
A little bit of sad news – my kitty Hunny had to be put to sleep in March. I was absolutely devastated and am still missing her so very much. I never thought she would be the first to go. So, now we just have our big dawg, Caffrey and Hunny’s sister, Diva. Before Hunny’s health problem (she had kidney failure for quite some time, but we didn’t know until it was too late. She was only 10 years old), we were dealing with Caffrey’s health issue. He fell on some ice in February and hit his head pretty hard – he has nerve damage that will take at least 6 months to heal. It has affected his eye and breathing, but he is doing okay. It has been a rough year with our furry family members. Hopefully things are getting better and there will be no more drama for a while.
I have my final dance performances next weekend. I have been feeling kind of burned out, so I’m thinking I may take a year off. I know, I can’t imagine myself not dancing either. But, the drive just isn’t in me anymore – instead of looking forward to it, I dread it. That’s my indication that some time off is needed. Of course, I’m going to miss all of my fellow dancers, but I know we’ll still see each other.
The airline hubby works for has finally started flying to my Mom’s little town again – so we have been taking FULL advantage of the travel benefits! Back and forth, back and forth! I know my son will probably spend a majority of his summer there on the farm – he loves it! He loves working, so give him a farm job and he’s content.
I think that’s it in a nutshell! Hopefully next time I’ll have a lot more positive news!
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